My Grand Final Joke

I was in the bank today and there were footy streamers and flags all over the place.

While cashing a cheque I ask the teller, "So, what are you doing for the Granny?"

Teller replies, "Dunno. If she doesn't leave soon, we're calling in Social Services."


I crack me up.

Woewodin Delisted And Dreaming

On hearing of his sacking on the television news, Shane Slow-wodin told Fox News, "I just want to play senior footy."

Slow-wodin wants to go back to The Melbourne Club and reckons he's still got a lot to offer.

"Everyone questions age and pace, it's just a perception."

"I've played for nine years and never been a quick player, and I've achieved what I've achieved without the pace.

"I think it's great to have . . . there's no doubt, to be able to be explosive and run the lines and carry the footy.

And get this.

"But it's also a bonus to be able to get the footy, and I just think it (pace) is overrated at times."

Leg speed was never Slowy's problem.

You call it poor decision making.

I call it derrrrrfred.

When he got the footy, time slowed and if you listened carefully you could hear his excruciating decision making process.

"Ahhh. I got da ball. Clokey's over there. Where's da Bucks? Where's Licca? Who's got da ball? I got da ball. Ball. Ball. Ball. Where's Clokey? Ahhh. Bucks over there. Kick it? To you? To me? Knowing me, knowing you ah hah... There is nothing we can do. Knowing me, knowing you ah hah..."

And in a style reminiscent to Gough Whitlam's It's Time election campaign, Slow-wodin has already started lobbying to get re-signed with The Melbourne Club.

"It's a club I love. I've had some wonderful memories there and it would be great to go back, there's no doubt about that."

"It's whether or not I fit into their structure. I know the boys are pumping for me and want to get me back."

How sad.

Photo from gayfooty.com.au (Your one stop queer football resource).

Nick Davis....We've Seen It All Before

Nick Davis is a cockhead.

Back in 2002 he kicked a couple of goals in the last quarter to get us into the Grand Final. Great, bring out the laurel wreath and all.

Then in the Grand Final he played a shocker.

Choked.

Dissappeared up his own arse.

Shat himself.

Day after the Grand Final I'm at the Victoria Park wake. Players looking devestated except.... "Who's that cockhead up there on the stage in the backwards baseball cap, basketball singlet and stoopid arse smile?"

Nick Davis.

What's he doing? Laughing, joking and cheering when coach announces there's no training for a month.

I've heard we traded him because his team mates thought he was a pain in the arse and that some personal differences with one or two of our stars had become too hard to manage.

I would have thrown him out for acting like a goose while we were fighting back tears at Victoria Park on that awful Sunday afternoon.

If Sydney do make the Grand Final this year just watch him soil himself.

Can't stand the bloke.

Brodie Holland On Dancing With The Stars

Can September get any worse? I'm sure it will.