The Poos & Wees to be Jeffed

For Jeff Kennett to be President of the Hawthorn Football Club and also head of a depression organisation would surely be a conflict of interest.

Kennett's commandos - News - www.realfooty.com.au

What You Didn't Read In The Papers: Buckley Wanted Tarrant Dragged

There was a lot of talk in the papers and radio last week about Chris Tarrant's trip to Byron Bay and his pathetic efforts during Friday's loss to Essendon.

But nobody noticed the bigger story.

During the game Nathan Buckley reacted to one of Tazza's piss-poor efforts by yelling out to the bench from 50 meters away, demanding they "FARKING DRAG TARRANT!"

But why didn't the cameras or radio boundary riders catch future Captain/Coach Nathan Buckley's outrage?

Word is, from a trusted mate who was sitting behind the bench, Bucks went on with this for over a minute and that shocked fans even applauded Buckley's display.

David Fanning Basketball Myth Debunked or What is it With Me and Pies' Players' Families?

After the game at a mate's house we were talking about our bemusing loss to Essendon. I was telling those not bored enough to listen that at the game a well dressed but dangerous looking bloke behind us was going overthetop to weirdo-like gaga over David Fanning's previous basketball career.

He didn't like reports that the young ruckman was new to footy and some rumours that he only learnt to kick a footy a year or two ago. Anyway, the thug received the friendly tap on the shoulder and end of story. But why was he so mad about a seven gamer? Who knows.

Two minutes, yes 120 seconds after telling the story in walks in a housemate and his girlfriend.

Get this.

Housemate's girly turns out to be David Fanning's sister.

After getting over the co-inkydinks of my thug story I had to ask some questions.

Is the big DF so new to the game and when did he learn to kick?

No. He played footy all through primary and high school, representing the state in junior footy until he was drafted to play a couple of seasons for a pro basketball team in Qld. All through his basketball years, not a week went by without at least a game of kick to kick with mates.

He loves and always has loved footy.

MYTH BUSTED!

Pies Finished. Newsagents Sell Out of Red Textas

Killed again by the Brisbane Bears. Only a few of our players stood up, namely Burns, Licca, Clement, and Johnson. Brodie Holland played well but gave me the shits for most of the night. Can't remember why but I do remember yelling, "Brodie, you fuckwit!" quite a lot at the TV screen.

Chris Tarrant wasn't interested.

Leon Davis is fat and was hopeless.

Wakes was lost (Like he has for the past month).

Lonie's finished at the Pies.

Because they thought they would be upstaged, nobody wanted to kick to Travis Cloke.

Brisbane were tough and brilliant, and shot our youngsters to pieces. There's no doubt they'll be playing the Grand Final with West Coast this year and I reckons they will shit it in. Brisbane by 32 points.

Cameron Cloke's Girlfriend?

I don't get it.

Because I'm real nerded up, I can see how you came to arrive at this website. Most of you are friends, some come from Corkintheocean and others come from the AFL ring thingy down the bottom of the page. If you came here through a Google or Yahoo search I can also see what you were looking for to get here.

Here's the weird bit.

Quite a few of you have come here because you are on a search for "Cameron Cloke's girlfriend." Why, what on Lulie Street could you be doing searching for Cameron Cloke's girlfriend? Is she running for parliament? Does she owe some of you money?

Freaks.

More Larynx Problems at Port

Get this. Mick Malthouse has a deep throat. No, not that kind. While he was preparing for last Friday night's Port caning, a couple of ex or current Port officials came through with the classified information that last year's premiers are, wait for it, soft. D-farkin-uh!

Had to laugh at/with/near today's Adelaide Advertiser article by Michelangelo Rucci with the subtle headline, Soft, Arrogant and Weak.

Here's the best bits...

"WARNING: If you cannot stomach a cutting analysis formed by wise men, on the outside looking in at the Port Adelaide Football Club, do not read on.

Right, that will take care of many Power players . . . sadly.

Here begins a picture of a Port Adelaide football team that is regarded as arrogant, too easily satisfied with only one AFL premiership, motivated only when its liver is bursting with annoyance at being known as "chokers" . . . and now is seen as "mentally weak".

So annoying about Port is that its players know the problem. Repeatedly at their own meetings they have hit on the fact - as if it is the secret to life - that if they do not play, as they put it, "hard, competitive" football, they are losers. And yet when Collingwood put that theory to the torch on Friday night, most Port players wanted to get back to their hotel rooms to hide under the blankets."