'Please Bucks, do what it takes to win this week' Richmond traders urge.

Swan Street, Richmond yesterday.

Local Richmond businesses have made a heartfelt appeal to the Collingwood Football Club on the eve of Saturday afternoon's round 4 MCG game against Richmond.

"Don't get me wrong, I love the tiges," says the old guy who runs the newsagent near Dimmeys. 

"But If Richmond win this one, Swan Street will become a zoo."

Colin, a barista at Demetri's Feast is in talks with Collingwood's coach, Nathan Buckley.

"I told Bucks when he came in for his regular Wednesday arvo quinoa beetroot country salad that if Fasolo starts as the emergency, we might have to hire security for our 7pm sitting."

Buckley was candid in what took place in the conversation, "Look, I'll make my decisions to suit Saturday's conditions but that's not saying here or there whether I'll be taking Colin's advice onboard."

Buckley's comments have led to speculation that the relationship between the Collingwood coach and staff at the popular Greek themed cafe are untenable. 

"What Bucks does on Saturday, is his business. Stuff him," Colin reassured us.

Daryl Darrelson, owner of Ben's $2 Shop remains philosophical about Saturday's clash. 

"I think it was Kierkegaard who said that it didn't really matter what decisions a coach makes on the day." 

"Moreover, as Kierkegaard plainly set out in his 1848 treatise, Practise in Christianity and Modern Coaching Techniques, it's up to the individual player to make his own choices at each stoppage rather than the abstract musings made by the coach during the pre-game address."

Marjorie Standoverman, proprietor of Bridge Road Shopping Tours also would like to remind Richmond supporters that the Bandwagon is operating on its usual April timetable (gold coin donation applies).        

In the event of a Richmond win, police will be called to the scene from 6pm - 11pm. 

Ladies, please bring a plate.